My life right now is one big balancing act. One wrong step and everything will come crashing down. I know sounds like a bummer, but it is what I have known for the last two years that is seems normal now. I have been asked before how I am able to balance work, school, and family life, and I can tell you it is not easy. First off I recognize that by the grace of God he gets me through everyday, even when it seems like all hope is lost and I just want to disappear and hide. For example, right now I am way behind on my homework and I should be doing it, but I feel like this is more important. Work has been insane right now. I have been pretty much working 10 + hour days since I started my new quarter and I am already worn out from work. Hence why I am behind in my homework. Plus with the all the projects that I need/want to do around the house and I am surprised I haven't had a mental breakdown and gone crazy.
When I look back at how I got to this point, I think of all the circumstances and events that happened in my life and I can see it all pointing to this journey I am on, but the biggest difference that allows me to function each day is the thought that I know I am not alone in this journey and it was a task God gave me to do. Two years ago when I started school back up, I didn't know what to expect, and man was I blindsided. I was doing great with balancing school and work, but at that time I wasn't exactly putting a lot of emphasis on my family. My wife was getting close to giving birth to our second daughter, and I had a chat with the pastor of my church about how he was able to balance school, work, and family. He told me not to be afraid to go down to part time, and I have taken him up on it a quarter or two. One thing I did do was make a commitment in my heart to not miss another church service unless I had a legitimate reason. Since at that time I would only go to church if I wasn't busy.
Since that commitment, it changed how I viewed my priorities, I started putting my family first, school second, and work third. Then something funny happened, my pastor did a little series on how work and God can go together, and I realized that I should be doing it not only with work, but also with my family life and school. So I decided to dedicate all I am doing in school to His will and His glory, as well as how I interact with my family that it might bring Him glory as well.
You know what, since I did that, school got easier, and my family life got better. Don't get me wrong, I have my good days and bad days like everyone else, but I know in my bad days it is usually a lesson that I need to learn or it is just a bad day. Something I else I have learned recently from a book I read was everything belongs to God. If we are to be good stewards for God, we must recognize that everything belongs to him and he is just letting us use it. When we are good stewards, he will reward us with more, whether it be by our careers, our families, our finances, it doesn't matter, he loves to give. If we abuse what God has given us and are not good stewards, well he can take it away even faster then when he gave it to us. Now to me, that sounded a lot like my life in general especially the last 10 years of it.
Well I think I have rambled on enough. Not sure if any of it made sense. Pretty much a song called "Difference Maker" by Need to Breathe sums up a lot about how I feel. Now I love music, and when I can find songs that really connect with me, I love them even more. Till the next one.
J
